SADDEST JOURNEY OF MY LIFE

It was a 30minutes journey. What I encountered was worse than what a prisoner went through in his capital offence punishment. The Federal Government had warned the motorcyclist not to carry more than a passenger i.e. two people on a bike but people did not follow this rule...

The Okadaman carried two (one girl with big boobs and me). The only thing that came to my mind was that this arrogant girl will press her boobs on my back and I'll feel a little pleasure.

My dream (her boobs on my back) could not come true because the girl was stingy. Instead, she used blow (her handfist) to block her boobs touching my back. We had just used 5minutes in our journey when we reached a big hole. If the okadaman had not driven carefully, it would have been another story. He drove like hamilton drove sport car in a jungle. All what we passengers were doing was little jumping jumping on a bike because of those gallops we encountered. Each jumping jumping cost me hard hand blow on my back. The lady asked “brother, hope I’m not harming you with my hand?” as a foolish gentleman, I said “no, they are still soft like your normal hands, aint know it’s ya blow”. Imagine I was pretending because of my dirty minds.

It was when the blow reached a thousand punches that the Lady alighted from the bicycle, leaving the Okada man and me for the remaining journey. I thought that was her destination because immediately as she alighted, three little children came and thronged her. The journey continued; we, no I personally encountered another problem, my leg hit the laser of the motorcycle accidentally and that caused a wound to me. We passed through some motorcycle units, the okada man was supposed to be paying N20 in each units. The unit was body organized by NURTW (National Union of Road Transport Workers) to collect a money into the revenue of a state. According to what cyclist when I asked why he didn’t pay all units we passed despite they ordered him to parked to pay and he refused, he said “who is going to be paying them stupid shit, How much am I making a day that I will be contribute to their fund”, “but they’ll be paying the money they had collected from cyclists into Government’s Fund” I explained the fact to him, “Whose Fund?” he interrogated, “are they going to tender the number of motorcycles that pass, the one that pay, the one…?” “I can hear you, it’s okay, concentrate on our journey”, I interrupted the tête-à-tête.

We passed a thousand units that each unit’s tollman (agent) ordered us to park and pay levy but the cyclist did not. If  the cyclist had paid each unit, I’m sure  he would not make any profit but loss. It was then I realised the reason why he should not pay any shit. When we passed the last unit in the journey, the agent there ordered him (the cyclist) which he still played his game. This agent is taller than a lorry. With the newly fresh cane in his hand, he wanted to hit the stiff-necked okada man with force like a Fulani beating the next cow to him but unfortunately, the cane hit me. “Aaaarggghhhh!”, I exclaimed, “what’s it?”, he asked as if he didn’t know the cane hit me. “Can’t you see the tollman wanted to hit you for not parking and pay but he mistakenly hit me?” “You’re supposed to block it after all you’re a man, no need to cry”, he replied. Instead of him to commiserated me, he gave a shit talk. Had I not paid him before the journey, I would have alighted in that place. We kept going…

Nearly 10 minutes to the end of my journey, the cloud showed its angry face and the rain started falling heavily on us. Maybe the okadaman had known there will be rain because he wore a thick sweater made with nylon and he couldn’t feel the strokes of the rain. Each stroke of this rain beat me like ten masquerades beating an arrogant follower mercilessly.

The rain fell for 5 minutes after it had caused a cold fever to my body. I was drenched and at this same time shivering. Despite all what happened to me, the okadaman did not feel any difficulty; he said “I like working under the rain”, “you will like it because you wear an helmet and a thick sweater” I replied annoyingly. Suddenly, the motorcycle stopped working. The plug in the inner part of the motorcycle was contaminated by the rain. The motorcyclist had to park and clean it. The surrounding we were was a dumping ground for refuse. The plug was so hot that we had to wait for about 5minutes before it could be touched. The malodorous surrounding was unbearable and this could cause a disease into human’s respiratory system. When asking the okadaman about the stench, he said “can’t you see I wear a nose piece?” Now I realise all jinxes in the journey are only on me.

We solved the plug problem, the okadaman begged me to help him to push the okada while he sat on it before it could start working. I had no alternative than to push it, after all, it was dark already and I have paid him the transport fare. After pushing with my last strength for 3minutes, the motorcycle worked. We rode on… I knew whatever it might be, I would reach my destination. My journey completed when we reached the junction to Uncle’s house. I felt a little relieved. The house gate was locked: uncle had gone to a party, I remembered it was Saturday. No going back, because no money for another journey so, I jumped over the gate. My left leg hit the fence and I got another injury on the second leg… met the door being locked. I had to sleep on his doorstep using a doormat as pillow. No blanket, No mattress, only on a cold floor and I couldn’t sleep conveniently with my back due to pain got from tollman stroke. So hungry. What a Sad journey!